10 Common Wedding Planning Mistakes
As a professional wedding planner in Chicago and Miami I see a lot of wedding planning mistakes! I actually planned my wedding years ago and made some of these mistakes myself! After my wedding I started a wedding planning business and vowed to never let anyone make the same mistakes. At the end of the day my wedding was everything I wanted it to be but there are definitely some boo boos I made that I regret. You don’t have to have the same regrets! Below I’ve listed the 10 most common wedding planning mistakes you can make while wedding planning! Hopefully this will help you in your wedding planning process and if not you can always reach out to us! We offer a 1 hour complimentary consultation to discuss your vision.
10 Common Wedding Planning Mistakes
1. Not consulting with a Wedding Planner from Day 1
A lot of engaged couples are afraid to talk to a wedding planner. They are afraid of being pressured into a sale or they are afraid of being told the truth! Ignorance is bliss right? No! This consultation is the perfect time to ask any wedding planning questions that you might have. We have done this hundreds of times so we can offer a lot of clarity, help with decision making, advice on next steps and more. This is an especially wonderful time to learn a lot of the mistakes that we are listing below ahead of time so that you don’t make them while wedding planning! If you decide you would like to move forward with a planner, we can offer full service planning, design, and coordination. All of our services are customizable based on your need. We don’t just do this for the money, we do this because we love to consult and talk weddings. Don’t be scared, we don’t bite! Go ahead and reach out to a planner that your venue or friend recommends. Word of mouth is always the best referral. You will learn a heck of a lot and it will set you up for success before you start planning.
2. Not Doing the Research
If you were starting a business the first thing you would do is market research. You wouldn’t just start charging money without knowing what your competitors are charging or whether there is even a demand for that product right? Research is everything!
It can be a huge mistake to start wedding planning without doing any research. Many clients/ couples will spend countless hours reaching out to venues and vendors without having an idea of what the commitment and cost of hosting an event looks like. Research can mean a simple google search like “what does an average wedding cost in Chicago?” or calling up a friend who just got married at that super cool venue and asking them what they learned about wedding planning.
If you don’t educate yourself before beginning the wedding planning process you can waste a tremendous amount of your precious time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen couples spending months (even years) trying to find their venue only to find over and over that they “can’t afford it.” If you haven’t done the research to properly understand the cost of the wedding in the area you are trying to have it in you will constantly find yourself being disappointed. You might even find after countless hours, days, months that you don’t want to have a wedding because the price point doesn’t align with your goals. Why not start off with researching first before the planning?
Another mistake we have seen many times is how a couple will reach out to a wedding professional. We see a lot of “I’m trying to keep things cheap as possible” or “I hope to save money” or even worse “can you offer me a discount”. This is a clear sign to us event pros that you haven’t done your homework! If you have you will have learned that many of the wedding professionals that you reach out to are small businesses. We pay for our own health insurance, marketing, office space, employees and more. We are offering you a luxury service and getting married is a luxury. If you are trying to save money, then do not have a wedding. You don’t have to have a wedding to get married! When we see “can you offer us a discount” it is a huge turn off! Who wants to do business with someone who asks for a discount for a luxury experience that they don’t have to have?
3. Not Setting a Budget before Selecting a Venue
Picking the venue without setting a budget is a big boo boo. I’ve seen so many couples sign a contract with a venue without knowing the average cost of a wedding there. (See #2 again re: researching before wedding planning.) Many venues have exclusive vendors like caterers and florists. If you haven’t done the research to know what the average price is for those vendors and you have already signed with the venue you might be very surprised and disappointed. Many event venues have exclusive partnerships and ask these vendors to give them a commission for being on their list. These vendors add an additional cost on their rates because of this which means it is more money for you! It’s important to ask your wedding venue in Chicago what the average per person cost is of a wedding is there. If they don’t know - that could be a red flag not to do business with them.
4.Not Hiring a Professional
If you take away anything from this blog post, please, please, PLEASE hire a professional vendor for your wedding photographer, DJ, band, planner and more. Having a friend or family member work your wedding as a vendor is the stuff nightmares are made of. Your mom as much as she loves you and offers, does NOT want to be your day of coordinator. Day of coordinators are not a real thing! Like you, she doesn’t want to troubleshoot problems and answer questions. She wants to drink, laugh, dance and be in the moment! Your dad, as much as he loves you does NOT want to DJ your reception. He has never done it before (no matter how many records he collects and how much he “loves music”) and he has no idea how to manage the party. He will walk away many times during the dance party to fulfill his obligation as your DAD. This will disrupt the flow and make it very hard as a guest to enjoy dancing. Hire a professional and let your family have fun!
5. Not Vetting your Vendors
It is so important to properly vet your vendors before signing a contract. We can’t tell you how many horror stories we’ve seen and heard from clients! There was the couple who hired a DJ who drove them crazy with his constant announcements on the mic and poor music choices. Sure they told the DJ what they wanted to play at their wedding but he didn’t listen. There was the couple who hired a photographer who got drunk throughout the night. The couple who hired the photographer who was 2 months late on delivering their edited photos. These couples found their vendors on yelp, some found them on Wedding Wire or The Knot. I am a big fan of word of mouth referrals! If you get a wedding vendor referral from a friend then it’s very likely that they will match your personality and needs!
A great resource for high quality referrals is your wedding planner. Our job is to play match maker. We have a collection of vetted vendors we trust. Since we are seeing the wedding through your eyes, we are matching you with the vendor that reflects your personality, style and budget. Another great way to find properly vetted vendors is the preferred vendor list at your venue. The vendors on this list have worked at your venue several times. They are trusted by the venue as vendors who know the space well, but also as professionals who are talented, punctual and kind.
An easy way to test if a vendor is a good match for you is by using a tool that we love called the Conditions of Satisfaction! Write a list of 8 - 15 items of your conditions to be satisfied in making a decision. Number 1 could be “the wedding vendor is an ally to the LGBTQ+ and POC community.” Number 2 could be “the wedding vendor gets back to me within 48 hours.” Interview your vendor based on these conditions. Score each condition a 0, 0.5 or 1. Add them up. Find the average. If the vendor scored 80% or higher than they are a match =). There are hundreds of qualified and fabulous vendors out there but you want to make sure you find the one that gels with you!
6. Hosting a DIY event to “save money”
“I’ll save money if I do it myself” False! In fact, we’ve done the math! The time, money, resources and energy it takes you to do things yourself actually ends up costing the same as just hiring a professional to do it! We’re all about crafting and being creative but we want you to know that doing it yourself will take more time and sometimes more money than hiring the professional to do it for you. So if you are only doing the DIY task to “save money” don’t! For example, making your own flower arrangements. We always urge our clients to steer away from a trip to the grocery store on their wedding day to pick out flowers. What are the costs and the payoffs of planning your wedding this way? The payoff is you might save a hundred dollars. The cost is that you will have to take precious time out of your day, your wedding day, to go to the Marianos down the street and hope that they have flowers that look good. Then you will have to put all of the flowers in vases for all 20 of your tables. Then find a way to transport it. Then strike it at the end of the night. Is this really something you want to do? Think about the time it takes, the resources you need and the amount of responsibility you want to take on.
7. Not hiring an Event Coordinator
We have seen so many situations where the couple or one part of the couple has to manage the day of their wedding because they didn’t hire a professional. I used to manage a wedding venue and I would see many a groom loading in decor, sweating and looking incredibly sad because of it. Sometimes to avoid spending money the couple will assign their maid of honor, mother, or friend to manage the day. This is another huge mistake. See #4 Not Hiring a Professional.
We also see a lot of couples scratching off their coordinator selection because their venue offers a “day of coordinator”. As I’ve mentioned before, “day of coordinators” don’t exist. We think it’s a big mistake not to hire a pro coordinator even if your venue claims to have one. The coordinators at your venue, work for the venue. They don’t work for you. Sure they might line you up for the ceremony, they will have a timeline, they will be there at the end of the night to help with strike. However, they are managing 3-4 weddings a week. They already work 40 hours a week selling the venue and managing their other couples. They are incredibly stressed out because they are working TWO JOBS and their priority is the venue - not you. Sure, they will help you a little but they are not working with you months before the wedding, they are not joining you in the morning at your hotel as you are getting ready, they are not attending separate meetings with you, they are not confirming details with your vendors beyond what time they are loading in and most importantly they are not seeing the wedding day through the eyes of YOUR vision. Again, they are seeing the wedding through the eyes of the venue! Don’t make the mistake of settling for the coordinator at the venue!
8. Not having a Rain Plan
If you are having a backyard wedding and you haven’t planned for inclement weather you might have the season finale of Schitts’ Creek happening on your wedding day but trust us, it will be WAY less funny. Make sure that you have an indoor backup plan at your private residence or a tent rented ahead of time ready to go if you need it.
If you are going with a venue and you are not working with a planner make sure that there is a backup rain plan as well! Most venues have a backup option but some do not! Make sure you talk to your venue about what happens if the weather is bad and you can’t have that outdoor ceremony under the oak tree. And when you set your backup rain plan make sure you like the backup just as must or almost as much as the ideal set up. We see a lot of couples falling in love with their venue because of the dream rooftop ceremony with the gorgeous view of the Chicago skyline that absolutely HATE the indoor backup option. If you hate the backup option for your ceremony how are you going to feel on the day of your wedding when you find out it’s raining? When selecting your venue make sure you like both plan A and plan B to limit the amount of disappointment on your wedding day as much as possible!
9. Not Setting your Priorities
Many a fight betwixt an engaged couple can happen when there has not been a discussion about priorities. If you’re not working with a wedding planner it is so important to write down a list of your priorities for your wedding! Surprise - this list might be different from your partner’s priorities and that’s ok! You might want a Pinterest wedding and your partner might want the best food anyone has ever had. It’s important to discuss what is most important so you can prioritize these line items in your budget and keep your eye on the prize! If decor isn’t number one for you but your experience and a low stress level is a priority then put more money and effort into hiring a wedding planner and less into decor!
10. No Communication when there are Problems
Lack of communication with your partner (and vendors) is a big mistake when planning a wedding. Set out an hour a week to have a wedding planning meeting with each other to discuss updates, concerns and ask each other questions. Another mistake we have seen couple’s make is a lack of communication with their vendors when they are unhappy with them. If you have hired a photographer and you aren’t happy with how long they take to respond to your emails or something they said on the phone - tell them! It’s a thousand times better to tell your vendor that there is a breakdown now as opposed to the week of your wedding, your wedding day or even worse after the wedding. Many conflicts are misunderstandings and miscommunication! Make sure to set up a phone call with your pro if there is a problem and communicate!